Okay, I’ve finally hit the #1 personal secret that is needing purged in order for me to get my tail end into gear for 2009. I’m anxious to finish this assignment for a couple of reasons:
1) Because there are really more important things to be putting up on here for those of you out there. If any of this stirkes a chord, I’m glad. If it doesn’t, then hopefully I’ll get you something soon. And,
2) I’ll have finished something – finally.
#1 Personal Secret: I’m a Pacific Northwest (PNW) slacker.
In my younger years, I used to be very active with sports (before they cost kids and their families their entire childhood and life savings). The nice thing about sports is that the fun and team atmosphere completely glossed over the fact that we were exercising. The practices held after school gave us reasons to not have to get to our homework or sit around at home with the boring ‘rents. The games and uniforms gave us a sense of purpose and belonging. I truly enjoyed all the teams I played on and figured that I would keep it up throughout my life. Fortunately, I did until my children came – that was exercise and fun with a new team. Unfortunatley, I haven’t played on a team until my buddy down the street asked me to fill in on her softball team. Although I only played a few games, I realized in that short time just how bad things have become for me. Last year I couldn’t play because the lupus was triggered by sun and I sat it out just in case. This year – lupus or not – I’m playin’.
In my younger years, I lived in downtown Portland and I didn’t own a car until I was 25. My primary mode of transportation was either my bike or my feet. I only took the bus when I had to get to work and riding my bike from North Portland to NW at 1 am didn’t sound appealing (of course, I ended up walking because the buses stopped running at 12:30 am). I was in the best shape I had ever been and I was exercising, again, without thinking about how it was exercise. I just did what I had to do and loved the adventures that were usually experienced on the way – window shopping, street vendors, catching other people’s conversations or stopping in for a coffee to watch people go by (La Patisserie – before Starbucks – at the Galleria, -I loved that job). Now, I own DVD’s with exercises on them that I visit once in a blue moon because I can’t cough up cash for classes and don’t do any of those little jaunts off my wearily-treaded daily routine.
In my younger years, I used to hit places all over the state skiing, camping, climbing, riding – either through coordinated programs, bike rides I would lead when living on the coast, taking friends out on groomed trails for their first time or summer camping excursions. Last year was the first year in six that I didn’t camp and visited the coast only once. I didn’t ski either – although this year I got out to do some urban skiing and it was great.
“In my younger years”…
Honestly, what is it about age that brings about this settling for reminiscence? I believe that the physical life I led postponed the inevitable trigger of my lupus and I have been milking off of those wonderful years for the last decade. It has all caught up with me, though. At the age of 45, I may weigh the same as I did then, but I’ve replaced the muscle and vigor with fat and fatigue. Not just because of illness – also in part to being unmotivated. Okay, lazy. Granted, there will be days that I won’t be able to do it – but I have fallen into a rut of assuming I can’t rather than committing to try. I would love to have some company – it’s more fun for me that way – but if it will only be me, that needs to be good enough. The point is that I need to start taking care of myself better to get me through the years ahead. It’s also to re-acquaint myself with this beautiful part of the country that offers us so much.
This last secret is one that I desperately needed to purge because I have said many times in previous posts how we need to learn how to live well with lupus “PNW style“. What I have to finally come to terms with is that I don’t remember what that means.
This year, I’ll be doing more connecting with the PNW and my local communities directly. I admit that I resist going when it’s easier to stay home. I resist getting out with my friends who, in the past, have struggled with my last-minute calls saying I am not up for going. I think if I made commitments with others who I know (no on else needs to) who might also have a slower pace on some days or can’t make it an all -day affair), then I will be much more likely to go. In 2009, therefore, I am committing to:
- participating in a Hands on Greater Portland volunteering event once a month and will be hoping that those of you in the area will join me.
- I will be attending a free outdoor activity monthly - either a sponsored nature walk, a casual game of tennis, or any physical activity that I can put together with other services (e.g. exercise program thru the Arthritis Foundation Oregon Branch) and I hope you will join me.
- I will continue to attend once a month free seminars, presentations and community events that I hope you will join me.
- I will be visiting and supporting local merchants, libraries, organizations and neighborhoods to improve my awareness of resources available to us here – I hope you will join me on these excursions.
- Personally, I’m going to make for time for family getaways to the beautiful places in Oregon and Washington. Most importantly, I will stop seeing my age in terms of numbers or a collection of my past experiences and get out there to learn and enjoy …while I still can.
I hope you will join me.
