Last Saturday, I was invited to attend the 20th Anniversary celebration of the North Coast Lupus & Fibromyalgia Support Group located in Seaside, OR. During my drive, I began thinking about what support means to me, for those who I interviewed during the research grant in 2003-5, and what I’ve summarized from other sources such as websites, articles, books, and general discussions.
What appears to be absolutely clear – is that it really isn’t all that clear. When we factor in environment, health/disease status, socio-economic factors, religious or cultural foundations, personality, nutrition (yes, it does pertain here), and so on, how can we possibly understand what each other needs? I haven’t even covered all of the variables that interact in the communication process – when it comes to knowing our fellow beings, we have a lot to think about before we even open our mouths.
I was asked to address the guests with what support is based on the research and work I’ve done – let’s just say my heart was racing. I listened to the speakers before me talk about what the group, and the individuals keeping it strong, have meant to them all these years. I noticed for some that it was clearly difficult to express their gratitude or accept the accolades without getting emotional. To them, having a support when they needed it – a support that was available and without judgement- had given them the encouragement to keep going.
This group does an incredible job at offering several support types and sources- including emotional and informational forms. If going to the group isn’t possible or preferred, they offer a bulletin board and a newsletter. If you need more personal one-on-one with those who share your situation, then the group is available each month and the facilitators always offer their contact information if something comes up. It is the understanding that there are differences in situations, illnesses and individuals themselves- that makes this group so successful and supportive.
Granted, this is a smaller community and they see each other outside the group meetings. Perhaps, they are on to something there. Perhaps that is why they can hit the ’support’ thing right on the nose – they practice.
Today, I want to practice, because I am still shakey in understanding what support means to me – and in order for me to expect or ask for it, I am responsible for being clear myself. So, here goes:
I wish to mention my gratitude to the two individuals who were instrumental in getting this website up and running. Without them, there is no way this program could start and they have both taught me lessons in website lingo; not trying so hard to understand, because it leads me to interfere; and that in order to be clear in my communications, I need to practice more.
Thank you, N and K. – your support has been a blessing.
I encourage all of you to take a minute and ask yourself: “What type of support could I use right now?”
